finding self

so i'm in red deer for one more night. gonna visit with the cousin tonight, then head to calgary tomorrow. the trip west has been somewhat surreal, i forgot how empty the prairies are. visiting with friends has been fantastic too, reminding me of who i used to be.

the last few months in korea i went a little dark inside, not a lot, but enough that i noticed. i was bored with the way things were and very ready for change. i got pretty bitter about stuff, getting angry or snappish a lot more than i usually do. it was kind of a gradual change, so i don't think many people noticed, or if they did they were too polite to say anything ;)

driving across the prairies with my mom and aunt, visiting with friends both from korea and from back in university days has been such an eye opener. not only am i happy again, excited for this change, but i'm realizing how much korea changed me. made me more confident, better equipped to handle stuff. and the best part, that my basic personality didn't change at all :) i didn't realize just how grumpy i'd gotten until i was out with mike last night in red deer, listening to live music, watching him play the guitar at an open mic night, and just exstatically happy with life.

so. the point of this post? optimism is not dead :)